Folmic FSS 012011/Vol.7
Focused Life Motivational & Inspirational Centre
(A Free Monthly Seminar Series)
Lecture 7
Topic:
Good Relationship,
(A Master Key for Good Success)
My main motivation is that I see the world as a single indivisible family with branches scattered all over the planet. I see myself as a member of that family and as someone who must contribute his own quota to the development of that family.”
Chief Yemi Omogboyega President,
Focused Life Inspiration and Motivation Centre, Iyin Ekiti Editorial Team
Victoria Alade (Mrs). - Team Leader
Pastor Yemi Omogboyega - Author
Tunde Oseni (UK)
Pastor Olu Alade Member
Olumide Omogboyega - Member
Pastor Ayodele Success Member
Akeem Lasisi - The Punch Newspaper - Member
Sunday Oguntola – The Nation Newspaper Member
Mary Omogboyega - Member
Management Team
Yemi Omogboyega President
Mary Omogboyega - Vice President
Mr. Dare Elefontuyi – Asst. Head, Media Relations
Patrons
His Royal Highness, Oba (Justice) John Ademola Ajakaiye, JP
The Oyinyo Saiye Uyin II, Iyin Ekiti
Balofin Ayodeji Esan, The Odofinyin of Ibedoyin, Iyin Ekiti
Pastor S. O. Adeyemi
Pastor Matthew Okuwazo
Media & Publicity
IT/Technical Teams
Olumide Omogboyega
Joseph Muyiwa Omogboyega
Other Focused Life Lecture Notes
Lecture 1 Start Small, End Big
Lecture 2 - Destined for the Top
Lecture 3 - Learning for Life
Lecture 4 This Thing Called Marriage
Lecture 5 Master Plan
Lecture 6 Your Guide to A Fruitful Life
All lecture materials are available in books, e-books, MP3 and CDs.
Please call or text 08034465225, 08035200122,
or mail us at treasuredynamics@gmail.com to book for your copies
blogsite: Yemimulltisites.blogspot.com
Founders Note
What has now metamorphosed into an organised body called Focused Life Motivational and Inspirational Centre, all started from my cherished vision to impact peoples lives positively.
The first demonstration of this desire began so early in my life when I had to support my parents. It advanced after I became independent and was able to extend helping hands to members of my immediate family.
Today it has progressed to the point of attending to human race within my limited capability. My main motivation is that I see the world as a single indivisible family with branches scattered all over the planet. I see myself as a member of that family and as someone who must contribute his own quota to the development of that family. I am glad to see myself doing that in whatever capacity I find myself.
How have I been doing it?
In the past, I have adopted a number of methods such as mentoring, scholarship awards, counselling, teaching, preaching the gospel, writing of motivational books, and, lately, I inaugurated Focused Life Motivation and Inspirational Centre (FOLMIC).
FOLMIC is aimed at interacting with people on regular basis in order to continue to give them useful advice on how to successfully manage their lives.
This is what informed the featuring of free monthly motivational seminars. The high level of participation and positive testimonies we are receiving from those who attended the seminars keeps us encouraged to continue to hold them.
Availability of Resources
We are however highly concerned about those who are unable to physically attend our free lectures as we want them to benefit too. For this reason, FOLMIC decided to make available her lecture materials in different formats such as books, MP3 and CDs. The e-version of it will soon be published in the web.
I believe these efforts will help me to achieve one of my cardinal life goals which is to leave the world better than I met it. I am happy you identify with this vision and it is my sincere hope that you will be positively impacted.
CHIEF YEMI OMOGBOYEGA, LL.B (Hons), BL, ACIArb
Acknowledgements
I acknowledge God Almighty for divinely inspiring me to write this book for the benefit of human race.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to all those who love Good Interpersonal Relationship.
Appreciation
I wish to express my deep appreciation to all those who made the publication of this book (names too numerous to print) a reality. I also particularly appreciate attendees of our lectures.
Introduction
As a matter of necessity, human beings must relate with one another. However, there are two kinds of relationships. The good and the bad relationship. The good relationship leads to progress while the bad one destroys. Our concern in this lecture note is that people should relate in a good manner so that they can enjoy mutual benefits from such relationship. Happy reading.
Chapter 1
What is Relationship?
The word “relationship” is derived from the verb relate. To relate, according to Oxford English Mini Dictionary means to give account of, to relate to or with, thirdly to feel sympathy with.
The noun form of the verb to relate the word relation which is defined as a connection between people or things; peoples feelings and behaviour towards each other, a relative or sexual intercourse.”
The word relationship is a derivative noun of relate and relationship.
Therefore, in this lecture, we shall be looking at relationship from the perspectives of “feeling sympathy with people or things”. This leads us to ask ourselves a very fundamental question: What can we relate with?
From our focus which is to look at the word relationship from the perspective of people or things, let us first of all examine broadly who or what we can relate with.
Our relationship covers the entire universe and the heavenly places! In the heavenly places, we all relate with God Almighty, we relate with the Angels and other unseen beings. This is what brings about our various beliefs. For instance, when we pray to God or say we depend upon God for certain occurrences in our lives, we are relating with God. Also in the heavenly places, there are relationships going on there too. For instance, when God wanted to create man, he said let us create man in our image or likeness. The word let us here means that God did not do the work of creating man alone. He involved other beings which today Christians understand as the Son and the Holy Spirit.
In the Universe, for instance, we relate with our total environment which comprises of man, plant, animals, land, air, sea, galaxies, the sun, the moon, the clouds, the stars, the rocks, the hills, the mountains and so on. And our relationship with all these brings us some benefits that are unique to each one of them. In some cases too we offer them benefits.
Some good examples are: our relationship with plants has the greatest benefits of giving us oxygen while we supply them with carbon dioxide which they too need to do well. Plants also produce food for our consumption and healing in terms of illness. Practically majority of the drugs that human beings have manufactured emanate from plants.
Our relationship with animals ensures that we have supply of meat which gives us the various vitamins we need to live healthily. The sun has so many benefits to man too. Apart from giving us light and keeping us warm, it is a major source of nutrients for plants and animals both of which man consume. It is used to preserve foods, supply electricity.
The sun ensures that theres consistent supply of rainfall to man by draining certain volumes of the waters and recycling them back to us as a fresh waters to wet the plants and give us adequate supply to drink.
How about the air? It has been established scientifically that the maximum man can survive without fresh air is only 3 minutes after which he may suffer permanent brain damage!
How about the galaxies? It guarantees us free movement. Can you imagine a planet that is just walled and everyone is wrapped up in a cubicle? We fly in the air, the clouds form above the earth to supply us rain, the suns rays, our telephones, televisions, and communication gadgets get their signals through the galaxies and it is within the skiesthat the air that we breath for survival travels!
The clouds offer themselves as shields to protect us from the suns intense heat. It has been established that the people in Africa are black simply because of the suns scorching heat. If that happens to human beings at a distance of over 93 million miles distance the sun is to the planet, then the clouds must have been doing a great deal of protection for us otherwise we would have all been burnt to ashes!
The moon gives us light in the nights and the stars reliably give us both light and acts as reliable navigational instruments. Both the sun, the moon and the stars reminds us of times and seasons! The rain waters the ground and the deep sea ensures, plant and animal (including mans) survival.
Darkness! Evil as we might think out darkness, darkness remains one universal source of keeping man, plant and animals healthy! If darkness do not occur to confine us to rest, there would have been many medically insane people than we have currently!
In this lecture however, we are going to deal with only one of these various relationships The relationship amongst human beings.
Chapter 2
The Human Relationship
My mother (of blessed memory) used to repeatedly say, and I now understand it better, that whoever will be the last person to leave the world last would be in great fear. Thats true because he will be most lonely.
Another saying of hers is A lonely person is of all persons, most impoverished person on earth.
A few quotations in the Bible will further underscore the necessity for us to relate with one another. Prov. 22:23 says Dont cheat your neighbour by moving the ancient boundary markers set up by previous generations. Prov. 23 says the same thing but added the rights of a defenceless orphan. Luke 2:52 says Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature and in favour with God and all the people.
All these point to the most important fact that relationship is inevitable with fellow human beings.
The origin of God-human and Human-human relationship
Lets take our bearing from the very beginning of man i.e. at the point of being created. This will take us to the Holy Bible in Gen. 2:21 Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found a helper comparable to him. (NKJV)
From the above quotation, it is clear that the fundamental basis of human relationship is help. And help can take different dimensions. It can be in terms of keeping one company, feeling for one, having someone to talk to, someone to keep one warm, someone to share ones joy and sadness, someone to counsel, someone to meet our needs whatever they are at any point in time.
So with the institution of marriage, God created the first human relationship. The unique aspect of relationship is that after creating man and woman God then created spiritual relationship with man by asking him to live in the Garden of Eden according to his instructions. Thereafter God ensured that He relates with man from time to time by visiting Adam and Eve in the Garden.
And that relationship subsisted until the couple sinned and God severed the relationship albeit for some time. After this he resumed the relationship from Genesis to Revelation and till date either through His word, His priests or directly through dreams, visions, audio, or whatever means He chooses.
And He enjoined commands us always to be close to Him for our lives to truly succeed for the book of (Josh.1:8) says Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.
Everyone, including you readers of this book, desires to prosper and succeed in life. So do I, the writer of this book for I dont want to be a failure in any of my undertakings in life.
It is clear therefore from the above quotation that to achieve that goal, we must relate with our God as He has commanded us in His book because we need His help to be able to succeed. Jesus Christ himself who is God still sought for and obtained Gods help to accomplish his goal of saving us all. The first help came to him when he clung to the will of God which resulted in his losing his life.
The second help came as the grave could not hold him captive and he resurrected on the third day, thereby completing his mission of our salvation.
Human-to-Human Relationship.
The very foundation of relationship is laid in marital relationship. Then it progressed to parental relationship, sibling relationship, extended family relationship, neighbourhood relationship, friendship relationship, social relationships such as religious, professional, communal relationships, national relationship, inter-personal relationship, master-servant relationship, student-teacher relationship, passenger-driver relationship, community-community relationship, State-State relationship, international relationship, Religion-religion relationship, etc.etc.
The bottom-line of these relationships is that relationships are unlimited depending on where people find themselves. As a result, we can call these relationships functional relationships.
In all these functional relationships, we all key into most, if not all of them and everyones desire is to succeed in them.
The first category is the divine relationship. Anyone who does not enjoy good relationship with God, it doesnt matter if he acquires the entire universe as his possession, is bound to fail. While I defer the details of this to another full lecture of its own, I recommend that we all stick to this golden advice so that whatever we postulate here will not go in vain.
Chapter ......................
Keying into Human Relationships
In the previous chapters, we have identified the various sources of both abstract and human sides of relationships and their benefits. We also postulated that human relationship is functional by nature.
In this chapter, we are going to examine a few of such relationships, how to cultivate and manage them so as to enjoy the benefits that accrue therefrom.
The two sides of human relationship
It is important at this juncture, however, to say that relationship can either be good or bad and each side has its rewards for those who engage in them either in terms of progress or degradation. The antidote for liberating oneself from bad relationship is never to allow anyone to influence you negatively.
An example of a good relationship is that it brings about benefits to those involved in it while a bad relationship, no matter how it tarries, leads to disaster - a group of persons coming together to pursue a worthy cause in a society will not only advance positively the cause of that society but the names of the personalities involved in such as struggle will be immortalised.
Conversely a group of persons who gather themselves together to carry out nefarious or criminal acts such as robbery, rape, etc are all in relationship but for negative purposes. They will equally receive appropriate ‘rewards (which are punishments) whenever they are caught. If on very rare occasions they are not caught, the long arms of the law will continue to search for them. Their conscience will continuously condemn them till their dying days, unless they mend their ways for good!
Our focus in this lecture is on how to cultivate good relationships amongst ourselves wherever we find ourselves so as to attain our God-ordained good destinies in life.
This reminds us of the fact that theres no one whom God has pre-destined for failure. No. Our failures are purely as a result of the relationships good or bad that we keep in all facets of our lives.
Of necessity in life, there are relationships that must be kept good. Amongst these are family (nuclear/extended families), occupational relationships and other, social relationships as enumerated below:
Forms of Relationships and their Effects
Nature of Relationships
Their Roles and What you gain if you keep them
The inconveniences experience in keeping them
What You get if you dont keep them
Divine
God Almighty
Source of wisdom, knowledge and understanding; Provider, protector, healer, peace-giver. Ensuring that all that is needed to make our lives complete and worthwhile is made available to us. He is the Creator and Visitor to the Family.
Does not allow us to do things our own ways
Failure in all facets of life and missing eternal salvation.
Jesus
God is His own head. He is the Head of the Man. He, by his own example, gives the man evidence of headship with humility. The mention of His name melts the hardness of our hearts. He is our guide and helper.
We wont be able to do as we please.
Total loss of direction in all 7 stages of life. Frustrations and wasted life.
Holy Spirit
Comforter, Guide, Peace giver, unbiased interpreter of Gods mind on any issue
Conflicts with our negative desires
Always doing what is wrong. Hardness of heart. Frustrations. Unfulfilled life.
Family (or Blood) Relationships
Parents
Vision developers, guide, counsellor, trainer, mentor, disciplinarian, pillar, helper, etc
They restrict childrens freedom
Cousins, aunties, half-brothers, distant relations, etc
Counsellor, helpers, guide, supporters
Financial Pressure
Loneliness, isolation, etc.
Distant relations
Counsellor, helpers, guide, supporters
Financial Pressure
Loneliness, isolation, etc.
Social relations
Neighbourhood Relationship
Helpers, supporter,
Nuisance when too close
Isolation, unsafe expectation.
Friendship relationship
Counsellors, Guide, helpers
Pressure
Unclear direction in life.
Religious Relationship
Church Pastor
Counsellor, Teacher, spiritual mentor, supporter, prayer partner etc. Helping to mould relationship for the better.
Brethren
Supporters in times of need.
Fellowshipping together, burden sharer, prayer partners
Can be seen as intruders when a couple is in turbulence.
Isolated living; frustration, might eventually lead to criminal tendencies such as suicide, murder, etc
Occupational Relationship
Office Collea gues Relationship
Supporters, guide, helpers, counsellors
Gossip, envy, unhealthy competition, rivalry etc
Isolation, confusion, career stagnancy
Professional Relationship
Career protector, guide, Counsellor, career development booster, career problems solver
Time consuming, financial sacrifices,
Outdated knowledge and skills, stagnancy in career, poverty, frustration, etc
Employers Relationship
Bread giver, Life sustainers
Time consumer, sometimes oppressor
Hunger, confusion, frustration, poverty etc
Employees Relationship
Helpers, goal-getter
Gossip, envy, bad advice
shoddiness
Financial loses, no work done.
Servant relationship
helper
schemings
stress
Communal/National Relationship
Community
Our Root, a place that cant deny us dead or alive. The greatest Referee to our character; projector
High expectations
Lack of development; psychological sense of loss.
Nation
Projector, protector, supplier of basic needs of life
Frustration, especially when theres irresponsible and corrupt leadership
Inability to attain ones destiny
International/Racial Relationship
Because human relationship is so elaborate, this booklet has only attempted (above) to summarise what you gain or lose from keeping or abstaining from certain relationships.
Abuse of Relationships
One relationship that has been particularly been abused is a religious relationship. Religious relationship is supposed to achieve two major objectives Love for God and Love for our neighbours as ourselves.
In practice however, it has been observed that instead of achieving these twin objectives, religious relationship has been turned to an avenue for suspicion, hatred, manipulations and opportunism. Lets examine some of them.
Inter-Religious Relationship.
A research into the world of religion revealed to me that there are as many religions in the world as there are human beings and this trend will continue to grow. But the fundamental truth is that nobody is born with a toga or religion hanging upon his or her neck at birth. We either inherit our religions from our parents or through association.
Therefore, we are first of all human beings having equal rights in all facets of life eg. (right to live, to associate with whoever we wish, to choose religion, right to express ourselves, etc) before we become either a Christian, a Muslim or an Atheist. Interestingly all of us (even the so-called free-thinkers) are believers in one thing or the other which can be equated to God in our lives. Yet these beliefs should not lead to one person feeling superior over another but in reality, that is what it is.
In extreme cases it even goes to the extent of physically engaging wanton destruction of lives and properties. Thats how foolish and extreme a religious person can sometimes be.
Religion and Family Relationship
In every family in the world, there must of necessity be present members of various religions, and atheists too! Because of the fact that we are first of all human beings having equal fundamental rights, the introduction of religion into our families should not be something that should tear us apart.
In reality however, and this is more prevalent amongst Christian youths and adults alike, in particular that for the sole reason of religious differences, weve seen situations where children abandon their parents altogether because the latter are unbelievers! The abandonment is not only physical, but outright denial of their parents of whatever benefits ought to accrue to them for being parents who have invested so much in them. Even though this behaviour in itself negates the doctrine of Christianity, some so-called born-again Christians practise it without remorse! If only such people would learn from Jesus Christ who never abandoned his parents from birth till death, they probably would never have done so. Even while on the Cross, Jesus was still positively relating with his mother when he said to her Mother Son, look at your mother, mother look at your son! Let all Christians copy this golden aspect of Jesus Christ!
Likewise, weve heard of the funny stories of parents disowning their children on religious grounds as if it is possible to do so. Can they disown their blood that is flowing in such childrens veins? This is another religious folly!
So families ought to be together till death do them part. Every member of the nuclear or family ought to be one anothers helper.
Religion and Community
An average Muslim identifies with his or her community and contributes their own quotas towards here development. However, most Christians, escape from their communities and dismiss them as places of abode for witches, wizards, and so on. So for the fear of losing their lives in the hands of their imaginary enemies, they run away completely from their community and bar their children from visiting.
They build their houses in foreign lands where they will not be seen. Yet even from the so-called safe lands they escape to, at their appointed time to go, death visits to snatch them away! Then their children become outcasts in their fathers lands because they have been alienated from their roots! They lose their heritage altogether. This is foolishness and Christianity does not preach that.
Till date, history is replete with the fact that Israelites dont joke with their origin but we the gentiles who are only saved by grace disown everything about our heritage!
Anyone, be believer or not, who does not form part of the development of his or her community is a disappointment to God and to his own community and to human race.
Professional Relationship
Many people will rather relate with fellow religious believers in their offices. They will rather promote their brethren at the detriment of other people from other faiths who merited promotion because they feel safe only in the hands of such people. If only they remember that human race is one family who should keep herself united irrespective of their religious background, they probably would have acted otherwise. If only they will realise that all their helps are not entrusted in the hands of a few so-called brethren they have chosen, but that people generally can be useful to them, they would have probably have acted otherwise.
How to create all these relationships
Fear The Lord. This will produce love for God and enable you to love your neighbours by treating them well.
Try a little bit of kindness wherever find yourselves. (family, office, religious centres, market place, social clubs, etc). This can be in form or caring and rendering all forms of helps for people generally.
Be people magnetic instead of being people-repellent. Let your character draw people to you rather than send them packing. It is from among such people drawn closer to you that your upliftment is.
Be part of your community, professional development by contributing your quota to their advancement you will be recognised for doing so.
Tolerate adversaries, never create enemies therefore dont waste time in forgiving those who offend you. Also avoid things that will make people stay away from you.
Never discriminate against anybody or organisation. Particularly dont fall into temptation of hating people who do not share the same religion or views about life with us. There should be no discrimination based on age, tribe, race, sex, etc. See everybody as a family. I am particularly
As I said earlier, it is not possible to exhaust all the details of all human relationships and how to build and sustain them. All we have done in this booklet is to point the way.
Finally, let me say this my practical view of life as being demonstrated this morning in my own life by saying that My main motivation in involving myself with the Project of Focused life which has brought me before you this morning is that I see the world as a single indivisible family with branches scattered all over the planet. I see myself as a member of that family and as someone who must contribute his own quota to the development of that family. You are my family and the little I can contribute to your life this morning is encouragement towards building a good relationship with God and everyone you are in contact with. I believe thats where the solution to your challenges lie God and people. Please take this message serious in 2011 and for the rest of your lives.
Thank you for coming. Prayer
About the Author
Yemi Omogboyega is an author of many books. He is an inspirational speaker of repute and a Minister of God. He is a Lawyer and a Chattered Arbitrator, an Chattered HR Practitioner by profession. He is a Pastor in The Redeemed Christian Church of God and a Chief in his local Community, Iyin Ekiti, Ekiti State of Nigeria. He is the founder and President of Focused Life Inspirational and Motivation Centre.
He is happily married with children.
About the book:
Good Relationship, A Master Key to Success
With copious biblical quotations, Good Relationship reveals that it is our network that determines our net-worth
Isaac Oluyi, Motivational Writer and Speaker, Ile-Ife
About the Author
Yemi Omogboyega is an author of many books. He is an inspirational speaker of repute and a Minister of God. He is a Chief in his local Community, Iyin Ekiti, Ekiti State of Nigeria. He is the founder and President of Focused Life Inspirational and Motivation Centre.
He is married with children.
About the book:
A Step-by-Step Guide to Profitable Grasscutter Business is a book intended to coach interested persons in the art of grasscutter rearing. Grasscutter rearing is an emerging business calling for people with vision to tap into. It is presented in a laymans language. This book will give you the expertise you need to succeed in the business.
Focused Life Motivational & Inspirational Centre
(A Free Monthly Seminar Series)
Lecture 7
Topic:
Good Relationship,
(A Master Key for Good Success)
My main motivation is that I see the world as a single indivisible family with branches scattered all over the planet. I see myself as a member of that family and as someone who must contribute his own quota to the development of that family.”
Chief Yemi Omogboyega President,
Focused Life Inspiration and Motivation Centre, Iyin Ekiti Editorial Team
Victoria Alade (Mrs). - Team Leader
Pastor Yemi Omogboyega - Author
Tunde Oseni (UK)
Pastor Olu Alade Member
Olumide Omogboyega - Member
Pastor Ayodele Success Member
Akeem Lasisi - The Punch Newspaper - Member
Sunday Oguntola – The Nation Newspaper Member
Mary Omogboyega - Member
Management Team
Yemi Omogboyega President
Mary Omogboyega - Vice President
Mr. Dare Elefontuyi – Asst. Head, Media Relations
Patrons
His Royal Highness, Oba (Justice) John Ademola Ajakaiye, JP
The Oyinyo Saiye Uyin II, Iyin Ekiti
Balofin Ayodeji Esan, The Odofinyin of Ibedoyin, Iyin Ekiti
Pastor S. O. Adeyemi
Pastor Matthew Okuwazo
Media & Publicity
IT/Technical Teams
Olumide Omogboyega
Joseph Muyiwa Omogboyega
Other Focused Life Lecture Notes
Lecture 1 Start Small, End Big
Lecture 2 - Destined for the Top
Lecture 3 - Learning for Life
Lecture 4 This Thing Called Marriage
Lecture 5 Master Plan
Lecture 6 Your Guide to A Fruitful Life
All lecture materials are available in books, e-books, MP3 and CDs.
Please call or text 08034465225, 08035200122,
or mail us at treasuredynamics@gmail.com to book for your copies
blogsite: Yemimulltisites.blogspot.com
Founders Note
What has now metamorphosed into an organised body called Focused Life Motivational and Inspirational Centre, all started from my cherished vision to impact peoples lives positively.
The first demonstration of this desire began so early in my life when I had to support my parents. It advanced after I became independent and was able to extend helping hands to members of my immediate family.
Today it has progressed to the point of attending to human race within my limited capability. My main motivation is that I see the world as a single indivisible family with branches scattered all over the planet. I see myself as a member of that family and as someone who must contribute his own quota to the development of that family. I am glad to see myself doing that in whatever capacity I find myself.
How have I been doing it?
In the past, I have adopted a number of methods such as mentoring, scholarship awards, counselling, teaching, preaching the gospel, writing of motivational books, and, lately, I inaugurated Focused Life Motivation and Inspirational Centre (FOLMIC).
FOLMIC is aimed at interacting with people on regular basis in order to continue to give them useful advice on how to successfully manage their lives.
This is what informed the featuring of free monthly motivational seminars. The high level of participation and positive testimonies we are receiving from those who attended the seminars keeps us encouraged to continue to hold them.
Availability of Resources
We are however highly concerned about those who are unable to physically attend our free lectures as we want them to benefit too. For this reason, FOLMIC decided to make available her lecture materials in different formats such as books, MP3 and CDs. The e-version of it will soon be published in the web.
I believe these efforts will help me to achieve one of my cardinal life goals which is to leave the world better than I met it. I am happy you identify with this vision and it is my sincere hope that you will be positively impacted.
CHIEF YEMI OMOGBOYEGA, LL.B (Hons), BL, ACIArb
Acknowledgements
I acknowledge God Almighty for divinely inspiring me to write this book for the benefit of human race.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to all those who love Good Interpersonal Relationship.
Appreciation
I wish to express my deep appreciation to all those who made the publication of this book (names too numerous to print) a reality. I also particularly appreciate attendees of our lectures.
Introduction
As a matter of necessity, human beings must relate with one another. However, there are two kinds of relationships. The good and the bad relationship. The good relationship leads to progress while the bad one destroys. Our concern in this lecture note is that people should relate in a good manner so that they can enjoy mutual benefits from such relationship. Happy reading.
Chapter 1
What is Relationship?
The word “relationship” is derived from the verb relate. To relate, according to Oxford English Mini Dictionary means to give account of, to relate to or with, thirdly to feel sympathy with.
The noun form of the verb to relate the word relation which is defined as a connection between people or things; peoples feelings and behaviour towards each other, a relative or sexual intercourse.”
The word relationship is a derivative noun of relate and relationship.
Therefore, in this lecture, we shall be looking at relationship from the perspectives of “feeling sympathy with people or things”. This leads us to ask ourselves a very fundamental question: What can we relate with?
From our focus which is to look at the word relationship from the perspective of people or things, let us first of all examine broadly who or what we can relate with.
Our relationship covers the entire universe and the heavenly places! In the heavenly places, we all relate with God Almighty, we relate with the Angels and other unseen beings. This is what brings about our various beliefs. For instance, when we pray to God or say we depend upon God for certain occurrences in our lives, we are relating with God. Also in the heavenly places, there are relationships going on there too. For instance, when God wanted to create man, he said let us create man in our image or likeness. The word let us here means that God did not do the work of creating man alone. He involved other beings which today Christians understand as the Son and the Holy Spirit.
In the Universe, for instance, we relate with our total environment which comprises of man, plant, animals, land, air, sea, galaxies, the sun, the moon, the clouds, the stars, the rocks, the hills, the mountains and so on. And our relationship with all these brings us some benefits that are unique to each one of them. In some cases too we offer them benefits.
Some good examples are: our relationship with plants has the greatest benefits of giving us oxygen while we supply them with carbon dioxide which they too need to do well. Plants also produce food for our consumption and healing in terms of illness. Practically majority of the drugs that human beings have manufactured emanate from plants.
Our relationship with animals ensures that we have supply of meat which gives us the various vitamins we need to live healthily. The sun has so many benefits to man too. Apart from giving us light and keeping us warm, it is a major source of nutrients for plants and animals both of which man consume. It is used to preserve foods, supply electricity.
The sun ensures that theres consistent supply of rainfall to man by draining certain volumes of the waters and recycling them back to us as a fresh waters to wet the plants and give us adequate supply to drink.
How about the air? It has been established scientifically that the maximum man can survive without fresh air is only 3 minutes after which he may suffer permanent brain damage!
How about the galaxies? It guarantees us free movement. Can you imagine a planet that is just walled and everyone is wrapped up in a cubicle? We fly in the air, the clouds form above the earth to supply us rain, the suns rays, our telephones, televisions, and communication gadgets get their signals through the galaxies and it is within the skiesthat the air that we breath for survival travels!
The clouds offer themselves as shields to protect us from the suns intense heat. It has been established that the people in Africa are black simply because of the suns scorching heat. If that happens to human beings at a distance of over 93 million miles distance the sun is to the planet, then the clouds must have been doing a great deal of protection for us otherwise we would have all been burnt to ashes!
The moon gives us light in the nights and the stars reliably give us both light and acts as reliable navigational instruments. Both the sun, the moon and the stars reminds us of times and seasons! The rain waters the ground and the deep sea ensures, plant and animal (including mans) survival.
Darkness! Evil as we might think out darkness, darkness remains one universal source of keeping man, plant and animals healthy! If darkness do not occur to confine us to rest, there would have been many medically insane people than we have currently!
In this lecture however, we are going to deal with only one of these various relationships The relationship amongst human beings.
Chapter 2
The Human Relationship
My mother (of blessed memory) used to repeatedly say, and I now understand it better, that whoever will be the last person to leave the world last would be in great fear. Thats true because he will be most lonely.
Another saying of hers is A lonely person is of all persons, most impoverished person on earth.
A few quotations in the Bible will further underscore the necessity for us to relate with one another. Prov. 22:23 says Dont cheat your neighbour by moving the ancient boundary markers set up by previous generations. Prov. 23 says the same thing but added the rights of a defenceless orphan. Luke 2:52 says Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature and in favour with God and all the people.
All these point to the most important fact that relationship is inevitable with fellow human beings.
The origin of God-human and Human-human relationship
Lets take our bearing from the very beginning of man i.e. at the point of being created. This will take us to the Holy Bible in Gen. 2:21 Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found a helper comparable to him. (NKJV)
From the above quotation, it is clear that the fundamental basis of human relationship is help. And help can take different dimensions. It can be in terms of keeping one company, feeling for one, having someone to talk to, someone to keep one warm, someone to share ones joy and sadness, someone to counsel, someone to meet our needs whatever they are at any point in time.
So with the institution of marriage, God created the first human relationship. The unique aspect of relationship is that after creating man and woman God then created spiritual relationship with man by asking him to live in the Garden of Eden according to his instructions. Thereafter God ensured that He relates with man from time to time by visiting Adam and Eve in the Garden.
And that relationship subsisted until the couple sinned and God severed the relationship albeit for some time. After this he resumed the relationship from Genesis to Revelation and till date either through His word, His priests or directly through dreams, visions, audio, or whatever means He chooses.
And He enjoined commands us always to be close to Him for our lives to truly succeed for the book of (Josh.1:8) says Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.
Everyone, including you readers of this book, desires to prosper and succeed in life. So do I, the writer of this book for I dont want to be a failure in any of my undertakings in life.
It is clear therefore from the above quotation that to achieve that goal, we must relate with our God as He has commanded us in His book because we need His help to be able to succeed. Jesus Christ himself who is God still sought for and obtained Gods help to accomplish his goal of saving us all. The first help came to him when he clung to the will of God which resulted in his losing his life.
The second help came as the grave could not hold him captive and he resurrected on the third day, thereby completing his mission of our salvation.
Human-to-Human Relationship.
The very foundation of relationship is laid in marital relationship. Then it progressed to parental relationship, sibling relationship, extended family relationship, neighbourhood relationship, friendship relationship, social relationships such as religious, professional, communal relationships, national relationship, inter-personal relationship, master-servant relationship, student-teacher relationship, passenger-driver relationship, community-community relationship, State-State relationship, international relationship, Religion-religion relationship, etc.etc.
The bottom-line of these relationships is that relationships are unlimited depending on where people find themselves. As a result, we can call these relationships functional relationships.
In all these functional relationships, we all key into most, if not all of them and everyones desire is to succeed in them.
The first category is the divine relationship. Anyone who does not enjoy good relationship with God, it doesnt matter if he acquires the entire universe as his possession, is bound to fail. While I defer the details of this to another full lecture of its own, I recommend that we all stick to this golden advice so that whatever we postulate here will not go in vain.
Chapter ......................
Keying into Human Relationships
In the previous chapters, we have identified the various sources of both abstract and human sides of relationships and their benefits. We also postulated that human relationship is functional by nature.
In this chapter, we are going to examine a few of such relationships, how to cultivate and manage them so as to enjoy the benefits that accrue therefrom.
The two sides of human relationship
It is important at this juncture, however, to say that relationship can either be good or bad and each side has its rewards for those who engage in them either in terms of progress or degradation. The antidote for liberating oneself from bad relationship is never to allow anyone to influence you negatively.
An example of a good relationship is that it brings about benefits to those involved in it while a bad relationship, no matter how it tarries, leads to disaster - a group of persons coming together to pursue a worthy cause in a society will not only advance positively the cause of that society but the names of the personalities involved in such as struggle will be immortalised.
Conversely a group of persons who gather themselves together to carry out nefarious or criminal acts such as robbery, rape, etc are all in relationship but for negative purposes. They will equally receive appropriate ‘rewards (which are punishments) whenever they are caught. If on very rare occasions they are not caught, the long arms of the law will continue to search for them. Their conscience will continuously condemn them till their dying days, unless they mend their ways for good!
Our focus in this lecture is on how to cultivate good relationships amongst ourselves wherever we find ourselves so as to attain our God-ordained good destinies in life.
This reminds us of the fact that theres no one whom God has pre-destined for failure. No. Our failures are purely as a result of the relationships good or bad that we keep in all facets of our lives.
Of necessity in life, there are relationships that must be kept good. Amongst these are family (nuclear/extended families), occupational relationships and other, social relationships as enumerated below:
Forms of Relationships and their Effects
Nature of Relationships
Their Roles and What you gain if you keep them
The inconveniences experience in keeping them
What You get if you dont keep them
Divine
God Almighty
Source of wisdom, knowledge and understanding; Provider, protector, healer, peace-giver. Ensuring that all that is needed to make our lives complete and worthwhile is made available to us. He is the Creator and Visitor to the Family.
Does not allow us to do things our own ways
Failure in all facets of life and missing eternal salvation.
Jesus
God is His own head. He is the Head of the Man. He, by his own example, gives the man evidence of headship with humility. The mention of His name melts the hardness of our hearts. He is our guide and helper.
We wont be able to do as we please.
Total loss of direction in all 7 stages of life. Frustrations and wasted life.
Holy Spirit
Comforter, Guide, Peace giver, unbiased interpreter of Gods mind on any issue
Conflicts with our negative desires
Always doing what is wrong. Hardness of heart. Frustrations. Unfulfilled life.
Family (or Blood) Relationships
Parents
Vision developers, guide, counsellor, trainer, mentor, disciplinarian, pillar, helper, etc
They restrict childrens freedom
Cousins, aunties, half-brothers, distant relations, etc
Counsellor, helpers, guide, supporters
Financial Pressure
Loneliness, isolation, etc.
Distant relations
Counsellor, helpers, guide, supporters
Financial Pressure
Loneliness, isolation, etc.
Social relations
Neighbourhood Relationship
Helpers, supporter,
Nuisance when too close
Isolation, unsafe expectation.
Friendship relationship
Counsellors, Guide, helpers
Pressure
Unclear direction in life.
Religious Relationship
Church Pastor
Counsellor, Teacher, spiritual mentor, supporter, prayer partner etc. Helping to mould relationship for the better.
Brethren
Supporters in times of need.
Fellowshipping together, burden sharer, prayer partners
Can be seen as intruders when a couple is in turbulence.
Isolated living; frustration, might eventually lead to criminal tendencies such as suicide, murder, etc
Occupational Relationship
Office Collea gues Relationship
Supporters, guide, helpers, counsellors
Gossip, envy, unhealthy competition, rivalry etc
Isolation, confusion, career stagnancy
Professional Relationship
Career protector, guide, Counsellor, career development booster, career problems solver
Time consuming, financial sacrifices,
Outdated knowledge and skills, stagnancy in career, poverty, frustration, etc
Employers Relationship
Bread giver, Life sustainers
Time consumer, sometimes oppressor
Hunger, confusion, frustration, poverty etc
Employees Relationship
Helpers, goal-getter
Gossip, envy, bad advice
shoddiness
Financial loses, no work done.
Servant relationship
helper
schemings
stress
Communal/National Relationship
Community
Our Root, a place that cant deny us dead or alive. The greatest Referee to our character; projector
High expectations
Lack of development; psychological sense of loss.
Nation
Projector, protector, supplier of basic needs of life
Frustration, especially when theres irresponsible and corrupt leadership
Inability to attain ones destiny
International/Racial Relationship
Because human relationship is so elaborate, this booklet has only attempted (above) to summarise what you gain or lose from keeping or abstaining from certain relationships.
Abuse of Relationships
One relationship that has been particularly been abused is a religious relationship. Religious relationship is supposed to achieve two major objectives Love for God and Love for our neighbours as ourselves.
In practice however, it has been observed that instead of achieving these twin objectives, religious relationship has been turned to an avenue for suspicion, hatred, manipulations and opportunism. Lets examine some of them.
Inter-Religious Relationship.
A research into the world of religion revealed to me that there are as many religions in the world as there are human beings and this trend will continue to grow. But the fundamental truth is that nobody is born with a toga or religion hanging upon his or her neck at birth. We either inherit our religions from our parents or through association.
Therefore, we are first of all human beings having equal rights in all facets of life eg. (right to live, to associate with whoever we wish, to choose religion, right to express ourselves, etc) before we become either a Christian, a Muslim or an Atheist. Interestingly all of us (even the so-called free-thinkers) are believers in one thing or the other which can be equated to God in our lives. Yet these beliefs should not lead to one person feeling superior over another but in reality, that is what it is.
In extreme cases it even goes to the extent of physically engaging wanton destruction of lives and properties. Thats how foolish and extreme a religious person can sometimes be.
Religion and Family Relationship
In every family in the world, there must of necessity be present members of various religions, and atheists too! Because of the fact that we are first of all human beings having equal fundamental rights, the introduction of religion into our families should not be something that should tear us apart.
In reality however, and this is more prevalent amongst Christian youths and adults alike, in particular that for the sole reason of religious differences, weve seen situations where children abandon their parents altogether because the latter are unbelievers! The abandonment is not only physical, but outright denial of their parents of whatever benefits ought to accrue to them for being parents who have invested so much in them. Even though this behaviour in itself negates the doctrine of Christianity, some so-called born-again Christians practise it without remorse! If only such people would learn from Jesus Christ who never abandoned his parents from birth till death, they probably would never have done so. Even while on the Cross, Jesus was still positively relating with his mother when he said to her Mother Son, look at your mother, mother look at your son! Let all Christians copy this golden aspect of Jesus Christ!
Likewise, weve heard of the funny stories of parents disowning their children on religious grounds as if it is possible to do so. Can they disown their blood that is flowing in such childrens veins? This is another religious folly!
So families ought to be together till death do them part. Every member of the nuclear or family ought to be one anothers helper.
Religion and Community
An average Muslim identifies with his or her community and contributes their own quotas towards here development. However, most Christians, escape from their communities and dismiss them as places of abode for witches, wizards, and so on. So for the fear of losing their lives in the hands of their imaginary enemies, they run away completely from their community and bar their children from visiting.
They build their houses in foreign lands where they will not be seen. Yet even from the so-called safe lands they escape to, at their appointed time to go, death visits to snatch them away! Then their children become outcasts in their fathers lands because they have been alienated from their roots! They lose their heritage altogether. This is foolishness and Christianity does not preach that.
Till date, history is replete with the fact that Israelites dont joke with their origin but we the gentiles who are only saved by grace disown everything about our heritage!
Anyone, be believer or not, who does not form part of the development of his or her community is a disappointment to God and to his own community and to human race.
Professional Relationship
Many people will rather relate with fellow religious believers in their offices. They will rather promote their brethren at the detriment of other people from other faiths who merited promotion because they feel safe only in the hands of such people. If only they remember that human race is one family who should keep herself united irrespective of their religious background, they probably would have acted otherwise. If only they will realise that all their helps are not entrusted in the hands of a few so-called brethren they have chosen, but that people generally can be useful to them, they would have probably have acted otherwise.
How to create all these relationships
Fear The Lord. This will produce love for God and enable you to love your neighbours by treating them well.
Try a little bit of kindness wherever find yourselves. (family, office, religious centres, market place, social clubs, etc). This can be in form or caring and rendering all forms of helps for people generally.
Be people magnetic instead of being people-repellent. Let your character draw people to you rather than send them packing. It is from among such people drawn closer to you that your upliftment is.
Be part of your community, professional development by contributing your quota to their advancement you will be recognised for doing so.
Tolerate adversaries, never create enemies therefore dont waste time in forgiving those who offend you. Also avoid things that will make people stay away from you.
Never discriminate against anybody or organisation. Particularly dont fall into temptation of hating people who do not share the same religion or views about life with us. There should be no discrimination based on age, tribe, race, sex, etc. See everybody as a family. I am particularly
As I said earlier, it is not possible to exhaust all the details of all human relationships and how to build and sustain them. All we have done in this booklet is to point the way.
Finally, let me say this my practical view of life as being demonstrated this morning in my own life by saying that My main motivation in involving myself with the Project of Focused life which has brought me before you this morning is that I see the world as a single indivisible family with branches scattered all over the planet. I see myself as a member of that family and as someone who must contribute his own quota to the development of that family. You are my family and the little I can contribute to your life this morning is encouragement towards building a good relationship with God and everyone you are in contact with. I believe thats where the solution to your challenges lie God and people. Please take this message serious in 2011 and for the rest of your lives.
Thank you for coming. Prayer
About the Author
Yemi Omogboyega is an author of many books. He is an inspirational speaker of repute and a Minister of God. He is a Lawyer and a Chattered Arbitrator, an Chattered HR Practitioner by profession. He is a Pastor in The Redeemed Christian Church of God and a Chief in his local Community, Iyin Ekiti, Ekiti State of Nigeria. He is the founder and President of Focused Life Inspirational and Motivation Centre.
He is happily married with children.
About the book:
Good Relationship, A Master Key to Success
With copious biblical quotations, Good Relationship reveals that it is our network that determines our net-worth
Isaac Oluyi, Motivational Writer and Speaker, Ile-Ife
About the Author
Yemi Omogboyega is an author of many books. He is an inspirational speaker of repute and a Minister of God. He is a Chief in his local Community, Iyin Ekiti, Ekiti State of Nigeria. He is the founder and President of Focused Life Inspirational and Motivation Centre.
He is married with children.
About the book:
A Step-by-Step Guide to Profitable Grasscutter Business is a book intended to coach interested persons in the art of grasscutter rearing. Grasscutter rearing is an emerging business calling for people with vision to tap into. It is presented in a laymans language. This book will give you the expertise you need to succeed in the business.
